I have received this email from a friend and I would like to share with everyone this beautiful article and that this will benefit you one way or another.
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By Annette Paxman Bowen
I have a friend who is falling in love. She honestly claims the sky is bluer. Mozart moves her to tears. She has lost 15 pounds and looks like a cover girl. "I am young again!" she shouts exuberantly.
As my friend raves on about her new love, I've taken a good look at my old one. My husband of almost 20 years, Scott, has gained 15 pounds. Once a marathon runner, he now runs only down hospital halls. His hairline is receding and his body shows signs of long working hours and too many candy bars. Yet he can still give me a certain look across a restaurant table and I want to ask for the check and head home. When my friend asked me "What will make this love last?" I ran through all the obvious reasons: commitment shared interests, unselfishness, physical attraction, and communication.
Yet there's more. We still have fun. Spontaneous good times. Yesterday, after slipping the rubber band off the rolled newspaper, Scott flipped it playfully at me: this led to an all-out war. Last Saturday at the grocery, we split the list and raced each other to see who could make it to the checkout first. Even washing dishes can be a blast. We enjoy simply being together.
And there are surprises.
One time I came home to find a note on the front door that led me to another note, then another, until I reached the walk-in closet. I opened the door to find Scott holding a "pot of gold" (my cooking kettle) and the "treasure" of a gift package. Sometimes I leave him notes on the mirror and little presents under his pillow.
There is understanding.
I understand why he must play basketball with the guys. And he understands why, once a year, I must get away from the house, the kids - and even him - to meet my sisters for a few days of nonstop talking and laughing.
There is sharing.
Not only do we share household worries and parental burdens - we also share ideas. Scott came home from a convention last month and presented me with a thick historical novel. Though he prefers thrillers and science fiction, he had read the novel on the plane. He touched my heart when he explained it was because he wanted to be able to exchange ideas about the book after I'd read it.
There is forgiveness.
When I'm embarrassingly loud and crazy at parties, Scott forgives me. When he confessed losing some of our savings in the stock market, I gave him a hug and said, "It's okay. It's only money."
There is sensitivity.
Last week he walked through the door with that look that tells me it's been a tough day. After he spent some time with the kids, I asked him what happened. He told me about a 60-year old woman that had a stroke. He wept as he recalled the woman's husband standing beside her bed, caressing her hand. How was he going to tell this husband of 40 years that his wife would probably never recover? I shed a few tears myself. Because of the medical crisis. Because there were still people who have been married 40 years. Because my husband is still moved and concerned after years of hospital rooms and dying patients.
There is faith.
Last Tuesday a friend came over and confessed her fear that her husband is losing his courageous battle with cancer. On Wednesday I went to lunch with a friend who is struggling to reshape her life after divorce. On Thursday a neighbor called to talk about the frightening effects of Alzheimer's disease on her father-in-law's personality. On Friday a childhood friend called long-distance to tell me her father had died. I hung up the phone and thought, This is too much heartache for one week. Through my tears, as I went out to run some errands, I noticed the boisterous orange blossoms of the gladiolus outside my window. I heard the delighted laughter of my son and his friend as they played. I caught sight of a wedding party emerging from a neighbor's house. The bride, dressed in satin and lace, tossed her bouquet to her cheering friends. That night, I told my husband about these events. We helped each other acknowledge the cycles of life and that the joys counter the sorrows. ! It was enough to keep us going.
Finally, there is knowing.
I know Scott will throw his laundry just shy of the hamper every night; he'll be late to most appointments and eat the last chocolate in the box. He knows that I sleep with a pillow over my head; I'll lock us.
I guess our love lasts because it is comfortable. No, the sky is not bluer: it's just a familiar hue. We don't feel particularly young: we've experienced too much that has contributed to our growth and wisdom, taking its toll on our bodies, and created our memories. I hope we've got what it takes to make our love last. As a bride, I had Scott's wedding band engraved with Robert Browning's line "Grow old along with me!"
We're following those instructions. "If anything is real, the heart will make it plain." There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop loving, no matter how hard they try. I wouldn't expect you to understand that, or even believe it, but trust me, there are some love that don't go away. And maybe that makes them crazy, but we should all be blest to end up with that somebody who has a little of that insanity. Somebody who never lets go. Somebody who cherishes you forever. Hope you find this kind of love in your life.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
What are the BIG STONES in your life
One day, an old professor of the national School of administration (ENA-France) was asked to give a training-course on the effective economic planning of one's time to a group of about fifteen leaders of big companies from North - America.
This course constituted one of 5 workshops of their day of training. So, the old Prof. only had one hour to spend on this subject.
Standing in front of this group of elite who was ready to note everything that the expert was going to teach, the old Prof. looked at them one by one, slowly, then said to them: "We are going to make an experiment".
From under the table which separated him from his pupils, the old Prof. took out an immense jar Mason of a gallon (glass jar of more than 4 liters) which he directly put in front of him.
Then, he took out about a dozen pebbles roughly as big as tennis balls and placed them delicately, one by one, in the big jar. When the jar was filled up to the brim, and when it was impossible to add anything to it, he raised slowly his eyes towards the pupils, and asked them: "Is this jar full?"
Everybody answered: "Yes".
He waited for a few seconds and added: "Really?"
Then, he bent again and took out from under the table a pot filled with little stones. With accuracy, he poured these little pebbles on the big stones, then moved softly the jar.
The fragments of little pebbles went between the stones down to the bottom of the jar. The old Prof. raised his eyes again towards his audience and asked: "Is this jar full?".
This time, his brilliant pupils began to understand the whole process. One of them answered:
"Probably not!"
"Well!" answered the old Prof..
He bent again and this time, took out from under the table a bucket of sand. With attention, he poured the sand into the jar. The sand went to fil the spaces between the big big stones and the little pebbles. Once again, he asked:
"Is this jar full?". This time, without hesitation, and in a choir, the brilliant pupils answered: "No!"
"Well!" answered the old Prof. And, as expected by the brilliant pupils, he took the jug of water which was on the table and filled the jar up to the brim. Then, the old Prof raised his eyes towards his group and asked: "Which big truth does this experiment show to us?"
Being no fool, the most audacious of the pupils, thinking about the topic of this course, answered: "It shows that even when one believes that our diary is completely filled, if one wants really wants it, one can add more meetings to it, more things to be made".
The old Prof. answered. "It is not that".
"The big truth that this experiment shows to us is the following one:
- "If one does not put the big stones first in the jar, one will never be able to make all of them go in, then".
There was a profound silence, each becoming aware of the evidence of these comments.
Then, the old Prof told them: "Which are the big stones in your life?"
"Your health?"
"Your family?"
"Your friends?"
"To make your dreams come true?"
"Learning?"
"To do what you enjoy?"
"To relax?"
"To fight for a cause?"
"To take time for yourself?"
"Or any other thing?"
"What it is necessary to remember is the importance to put one's BIG STONES in first in one's life, otherwise one encours the risks not succeed in one's life.
If one gives priority to pecadilloes (the little pebbles, the sand), one will fill one's life with pecadilloes and one will have no more enough precious time to dedicate to the important elements of one's life".
Then do not forget to ask to yourself this question: "Which are the BIG STONES IN MY LIFE? Then, put them in, first"
With a friendly gesture of the hand, the old professor greeted his audience and slowly left the room.
This course constituted one of 5 workshops of their day of training. So, the old Prof. only had one hour to spend on this subject.
Standing in front of this group of elite who was ready to note everything that the expert was going to teach, the old Prof. looked at them one by one, slowly, then said to them: "We are going to make an experiment".
From under the table which separated him from his pupils, the old Prof. took out an immense jar Mason of a gallon (glass jar of more than 4 liters) which he directly put in front of him.
Then, he took out about a dozen pebbles roughly as big as tennis balls and placed them delicately, one by one, in the big jar. When the jar was filled up to the brim, and when it was impossible to add anything to it, he raised slowly his eyes towards the pupils, and asked them: "Is this jar full?"
Everybody answered: "Yes".
He waited for a few seconds and added: "Really?"
Then, he bent again and took out from under the table a pot filled with little stones. With accuracy, he poured these little pebbles on the big stones, then moved softly the jar.
The fragments of little pebbles went between the stones down to the bottom of the jar. The old Prof. raised his eyes again towards his audience and asked: "Is this jar full?".
This time, his brilliant pupils began to understand the whole process. One of them answered:
"Probably not!"
"Well!" answered the old Prof..
He bent again and this time, took out from under the table a bucket of sand. With attention, he poured the sand into the jar. The sand went to fil the spaces between the big big stones and the little pebbles. Once again, he asked:
"Is this jar full?". This time, without hesitation, and in a choir, the brilliant pupils answered: "No!"
"Well!" answered the old Prof. And, as expected by the brilliant pupils, he took the jug of water which was on the table and filled the jar up to the brim. Then, the old Prof raised his eyes towards his group and asked: "Which big truth does this experiment show to us?"
Being no fool, the most audacious of the pupils, thinking about the topic of this course, answered: "It shows that even when one believes that our diary is completely filled, if one wants really wants it, one can add more meetings to it, more things to be made".
The old Prof. answered. "It is not that".
"The big truth that this experiment shows to us is the following one:
- "If one does not put the big stones first in the jar, one will never be able to make all of them go in, then".
There was a profound silence, each becoming aware of the evidence of these comments.
Then, the old Prof told them: "Which are the big stones in your life?"
"Your health?"
"Your family?"
"Your friends?"
"To make your dreams come true?"
"Learning?"
"To do what you enjoy?"
"To relax?"
"To fight for a cause?"
"To take time for yourself?"
"Or any other thing?"
"What it is necessary to remember is the importance to put one's BIG STONES in first in one's life, otherwise one encours the risks not succeed in one's life.
If one gives priority to pecadilloes (the little pebbles, the sand), one will fill one's life with pecadilloes and one will have no more enough precious time to dedicate to the important elements of one's life".
Then do not forget to ask to yourself this question: "Which are the BIG STONES IN MY LIFE? Then, put them in, first"
With a friendly gesture of the hand, the old professor greeted his audience and slowly left the room.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
When you are angry....
This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his astonishment, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into a pulp as punishment.
When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital. Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, "Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked,"but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide.
Think about the story the next time u see someone spill milk at a dinner table or hear a baby crying. Think first before you lose your patience with someone you love. Trucks can be repaired. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't.
Too often we fail to recognise the difference between the person and the performance. People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes.
But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever. Think before
you act. Be patient. Understand & love.
When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital. Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, "Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked,"but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide.
Think about the story the next time u see someone spill milk at a dinner table or hear a baby crying. Think first before you lose your patience with someone you love. Trucks can be repaired. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't.
Too often we fail to recognise the difference between the person and the performance. People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes.
But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever. Think before
you act. Be patient. Understand & love.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Money Is Not Everything...
Money can buy house
but not home.
Money can buy bed
but not sleep.
Money can buy clock
but not time.
Money can buy book
but not knowledge.
Money can buy dresses
but not pretty,
Money can buy slim
but not happy.
Money can buy food
but not appetite.
Money can buy position
but not respect.
Money can buy blood
but not life.
Money can buy medicine
but not health.
Money can buy sex
but not love.
Money can buy insurance
but not safety.
You see, money is not everything.
Therefore, if you have too much, please give some to me! ;-)
but not home.
Money can buy bed
but not sleep.
Money can buy clock
but not time.
Money can buy book
but not knowledge.
Money can buy dresses
but not pretty,
Money can buy slim
but not happy.
Money can buy food
but not appetite.
Money can buy position
but not respect.
Money can buy blood
but not life.
Money can buy medicine
but not health.
Money can buy sex
but not love.
Money can buy insurance
but not safety.
You see, money is not everything.
Therefore, if you have too much, please give some to me! ;-)
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Work Work Work
A long time ago, there was an Emperor who told his horseman that if he could ride on his horse and cover as much land area as he likes, then the Emperor would give him the area of land he has covered.
Sure enough, the horseman quickly jumped onto his horse and rode as fast as possible to cover as much land area as he could. He kept on riding and riding, whipping the horse to go as fast as possible. When he was hungry or tired, he did not stop because he wanted to cover as much area as possible.
Came to a point when he had covered a substantial area and he was exhausted and was dying. Then he asked himself, "Why did I push myself so hard to cover so much land area? Now I am dying and I only need a very small area to bury myself."
The above story is similar with the journey of our Life. We push very hard everyday to make more money, to gain power and recognition. We neglect our health, time with our family and to appreciate the surrounding beauty and the hobbies we love.
One day when we look back, we will realize that we don't really need that much, but then we cannot turn back time for what we have missed.
Life is not about making money, acquiring power or recognition. Life is definitely not about work! Work is only necessary to keep us living so as to enjoy the beauty and pleasures of life. Life is a balance of Work and Play, Family and Personal time. You have to decide how you want to balance your Life. Define your priorities, realize what you are able to compromise but always let some of your decisions be based on your instincts. Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of Life, the whole aim of human existence.
So, take it easy, do what you want to do and appreciate nature. Life is fragile, Life is short. Do not take Life for granted. Live a balanced lifestyle and enjoy Life!
Watch your thoughts ; they become words.
Watch your words ; they become actions.
Watch your actions ; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
Sure enough, the horseman quickly jumped onto his horse and rode as fast as possible to cover as much land area as he could. He kept on riding and riding, whipping the horse to go as fast as possible. When he was hungry or tired, he did not stop because he wanted to cover as much area as possible.
Came to a point when he had covered a substantial area and he was exhausted and was dying. Then he asked himself, "Why did I push myself so hard to cover so much land area? Now I am dying and I only need a very small area to bury myself."
The above story is similar with the journey of our Life. We push very hard everyday to make more money, to gain power and recognition. We neglect our health, time with our family and to appreciate the surrounding beauty and the hobbies we love.
One day when we look back, we will realize that we don't really need that much, but then we cannot turn back time for what we have missed.
Life is not about making money, acquiring power or recognition. Life is definitely not about work! Work is only necessary to keep us living so as to enjoy the beauty and pleasures of life. Life is a balance of Work and Play, Family and Personal time. You have to decide how you want to balance your Life. Define your priorities, realize what you are able to compromise but always let some of your decisions be based on your instincts. Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of Life, the whole aim of human existence.
So, take it easy, do what you want to do and appreciate nature. Life is fragile, Life is short. Do not take Life for granted. Live a balanced lifestyle and enjoy Life!
Watch your thoughts ; they become words.
Watch your words ; they become actions.
Watch your actions ; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
The Magic of Giving
My wife and I spent a month holidaying in Southern France.
I don't remember ever being as happy as I was during the short time we spent there.
I was truly happy to be alive.
On hot days, we spent out time inside our cool room reading or chatting. Towards the evenings, we often went for walks. During our walks we'd stop to look at the bowers along the road. The road, which was made of red sand, ran along the mountain; lavenders grew on one side of it and olive trees grew on the other.
We enjoyed the scenery as we walked through the village. The beauty around us added to our joy.
The local people all said they were very happy to see us walking hand-in-hand, smiling, serene, poised and open to strangers. I only realized how much our happiness affected them when the farmers gave us a special gift which they usually reserved for a big occasion or some unexpected pleasant surprise: dry sausage and a bottle of anisette.
On each of our walks we made new friends who cemented our friendship with lovely gifts.
We finally returned home. After spending a month in sunny, friendly Provence, our city seemed cold; the days and nights appeared longer than usual, and even clients seemed uninterested in my work.
One evening, as I sat in a cafe, with my head on my hand, thinking of our time in Provence and the lavish welcome of it's people, it hit me. I realized why the villagers back in France treated us as they did: they were giving us back what they had received from us - the gift of joy.
Don't expect anything from others which you don't give yourself: give a smile when you're sad, a warm handshake when your heart is cold, a positive thought when you see nothing but dark things in your life....
...............................................................
When your happiness radiates out and touches those around you, including strangers, you communicate something to them. Something which makes them want to respond in a positive way to you.
Give joy without expecting anything in return and you will put people in the best possible disposition to give and be open with you.
...............................................................
"What is good about giving on your part is that you always receive more than you give; the reaction is always stronger than the action."
Orison S. Marden
I don't remember ever being as happy as I was during the short time we spent there.
I was truly happy to be alive.
On hot days, we spent out time inside our cool room reading or chatting. Towards the evenings, we often went for walks. During our walks we'd stop to look at the bowers along the road. The road, which was made of red sand, ran along the mountain; lavenders grew on one side of it and olive trees grew on the other.
We enjoyed the scenery as we walked through the village. The beauty around us added to our joy.
The local people all said they were very happy to see us walking hand-in-hand, smiling, serene, poised and open to strangers. I only realized how much our happiness affected them when the farmers gave us a special gift which they usually reserved for a big occasion or some unexpected pleasant surprise: dry sausage and a bottle of anisette.
On each of our walks we made new friends who cemented our friendship with lovely gifts.
We finally returned home. After spending a month in sunny, friendly Provence, our city seemed cold; the days and nights appeared longer than usual, and even clients seemed uninterested in my work.
One evening, as I sat in a cafe, with my head on my hand, thinking of our time in Provence and the lavish welcome of it's people, it hit me. I realized why the villagers back in France treated us as they did: they were giving us back what they had received from us - the gift of joy.
Don't expect anything from others which you don't give yourself: give a smile when you're sad, a warm handshake when your heart is cold, a positive thought when you see nothing but dark things in your life....
...............................................................
When your happiness radiates out and touches those around you, including strangers, you communicate something to them. Something which makes them want to respond in a positive way to you.
Give joy without expecting anything in return and you will put people in the best possible disposition to give and be open with you.
...............................................................
"What is good about giving on your part is that you always receive more than you give; the reaction is always stronger than the action."
Orison S. Marden
Monday, December 22, 2008
The story of the black balloons
A young black boy saw a balloon seller on a street corner. His eyes sparkled as he gazed at all the different colored balloons - red, blue, white, black, yellow...
The old man selling the balloons saw the boy hesitate, than gather his courage and approach.
"Tell me mister," said the boy, "do the black balloons fly as high as the others?"
The old man felt a tear forming in his eye. He picked the boy up, sat him on his knee and said, "Look."
He let go of all the balloons. They drifted up in a cluster, higher and higher into the blue sky until they were so high they disappeared.
"Did you see that?" the balloon seller asked.
"Yes," said the boy.
"Did the black balloons fly as high as the others?"
"Yes Mister, they did."
"You see my boy, the balloons are like people. The important thing isn't their color, or what they look like on the outside. No, the important thing is WHAT'S INSIDE. And what's inside you makes all the difference in life."
The old man selling the balloons saw the boy hesitate, than gather his courage and approach.
"Tell me mister," said the boy, "do the black balloons fly as high as the others?"
The old man felt a tear forming in his eye. He picked the boy up, sat him on his knee and said, "Look."
He let go of all the balloons. They drifted up in a cluster, higher and higher into the blue sky until they were so high they disappeared.
"Did you see that?" the balloon seller asked.
"Yes," said the boy.
"Did the black balloons fly as high as the others?"
"Yes Mister, they did."
"You see my boy, the balloons are like people. The important thing isn't their color, or what they look like on the outside. No, the important thing is WHAT'S INSIDE. And what's inside you makes all the difference in life."
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