I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart

I think this is my second time reading this article sent by a friend via email and every time I read it I always feel so touched. There are times when I feel that my husband is spending too much time on his work or he would also make me mad with his attitudes, but then I would also remember all the sweets things he have done for me... rubbing my feet when I feel pain; cook me supper when I'm hungry; replenish my shampoo when I run out of it... and many many more.

So I remind myself, it's okay he dun send me flowers or gifts on anniversaries but at least he remembers them; it's okay he dun spend as much time with me as I want him to but at least I know he's busy working to provide for the family.

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To All Married Couples and Singles Who Intend to Get Married (Worth reading this)

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When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of mycompany and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life withme had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible… Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage…

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy.

Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.

I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest... I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning... This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.

Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead. "Do you have a fever?" She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up.. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote: 'I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart'

The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Relationships are made not to exploit, not to be broken.

We teach some by what we say
We teach some more by what we do
But we teach most by what we are
- Unknown

You don't get to choose how you are going to die, or when, but, you can decide how you are going to live, here and now.

Remember:
People will forget what you said...
People will forget what you did...
But people will never forget how you made them feel....

Would you pick that flower from mountain cliff for me

The following is abstracted from email that I received from friend and I would like to share with all of you.

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My husband is an engineer by profession. I love him for his steady nature and....I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders. Two years of courtship and now, five years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings. I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about LOVE.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

'Why?' he asked, shocked..

'I am tired. There are no reasons for everything in the world!' I answered.

He kept silent the whole night, seemingly in deep thought. My feeling of disappointment increased. Here was a man who was not able to even express his predicament, so what else could I expect from him?

And finally he asked me, 'What can I do to change your mind?'

Somebody said it right....it is hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes, I slowly answered: 'Here is the quesiton...If you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind.'

Let's say; I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death. Will you do it for me?

He said: 'I will give you an answer tomorrow! ..'
My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes....

My Dear
'I would not pick that flower for you, but....please allow me to explain the reasons further...'

This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.

'When you use the computer, you always mess up the software programs, and you cry in front of the screen. I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.

You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city. I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your 'good friend' approaches every month. I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.
You like to stay indoors and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes. I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip
your nails and help to remove those annoying white hairs.

So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand...and tell you the colour of flowers, just like the colour of the glow on your young face....

Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do...I could not pick that flower yet...and die...'

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting...and as I continued reading...'Now that you have finished reading my answer, and if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favourite bread and fresh milk...'

I rushed to pull open the door and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread....

Now I am sure that no one will ever love me as he does and I have decided to leave the flower alone...

That's LIFE, and LOVE....

When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.. Love shows up in all forms, even in very small and cheeky forms. It has never been a model. It could be the dullest and most boring form...

Flowers and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands...and THAT'S LIFE.

The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems, but those who learn to live with things that are less perfect.